10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
