so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
