We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
