He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
