Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize