i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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