I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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