Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My vagina is officially offended.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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