You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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