1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
