So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
