My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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