I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
