I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
