Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
