Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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