I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize