You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
