I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
