so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
In America we eat man semen.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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