Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
