If that was your dad, he is hot
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
