I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
