I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
