This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize