in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
