Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
