Your mouth is God's brothel.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
