The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
