Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You're so nebulous sometimes
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
