I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
