The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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