My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
