I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
