Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
