physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
