SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
