I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
