I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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