Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
