she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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