I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
