So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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