WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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