called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
