Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
