I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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