hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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