between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
