im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize