At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
