sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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