if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
