I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
