Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i would punch a child for taco bell
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
