We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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