i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Someone came in the potted fern
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
