I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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