I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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