The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just gargled with NyQuil
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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