I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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